Lesson 6: Use Parallel Form
Introduction to Parallel Form
One of the hallmarks of effective professional communication is order. In the world of business, industry, and government, we want things to stack up neatly, to line up, to be accessible and easily searchable. We like patterns that help orient our brains to presentations of information. That’s why, for example, when someone is giving an oral presentation, we really appreciate it when she starts by orienting us to the purpose and structure of her presentation, perhaps by providing and briefly reviewing an outline (in the form of a handout, or maybe on the overhead or data projector).
Outlines display hierarchies of information. Good outlines tell us both what’s in a document and how its parts are related to each other. We can see at a glance what the main parts of the document are and what sub-categories fall into each major category. If the author or speaker reveals her principle of organization (as she should), we can even see at a glance the order of importance of the topics, or the order of their difficulty, or their placement on a timeline, etc. These principles of organization are many, and the effective communicator chooses the ones best suited to her purpose and audience.
However, no matter what overarching principles of order are chosen, there is what we might call an “interior principle of order” that applies to every kind of communication, at every level (from the “macro level,” the main sections of documents, to the “micro level,” individual words within sentences and phrases). This is what we call “parallel form.” Let’s first consider parallel form as it applies to headings.
Parallel Form in Headings
First of all, you should check to see that all the headings you give to your documents are strong, descriptive noun phrases that correspond well to the subject matter of the sections they head. If your document uses too many one-word subheadings, consider expanding them. Headings are organizational signposts for the reader, and in most documents, they are too few and too short.
However, even documents graced with lots of headings can be less accessible and helpful than they could be if parallel form were respected.
Consider, for example, the following major heading and its three sub-headings:
Problems with New Line of Laptops
- Small Keys Make Typing Awkward
- Screen Brightness Insufficient
- Undersensitivity of Touchpad
Each of these subheadings, considered separately, is absolutely fine. What’s not fine is the lack of parallel form between them. Since each is simply an example of some “problem with the new line of laptops,” why shouldn’t each point be expressed in parallel form, grammatically and stylistically? Why should the reader be subjected to even the slightest demand to reorient his brain when looking at that list of problems? Answer: there is no good reason.
Let’s see if you can edit those subheads to make them parallel in form. Check your edit against these possible answers:
- Small Keys Make Typing Awkward
- Under-sensitive Touchpad Makes Pointing/Clicking Difficult
- Dim Screens make Eyes Tired
Maybe you don’t want to use such long noun phrases for your headings–perhaps because there’s not much info under each category, and the entire spread of main heading and subheadings is going to appear on one easily accessible page? Then how about this:
- Tiny Keys
- Dim Screen
- Under-sensitive Touchpad
There are many variations. Whatever form you choose, remember to make headings that are coordinate in sense parallel in structure. This helps readers recognize the relationship between blocks of information. And it does wonders for your document’s coherence.
Let’s now consider the operation of that principle at the level of phrases within sentences in the body of your communications.
Parallel Form in Sentences and Phrases
The same principle of parallelism that applies to your headings applies to prose within the body of your text. One way to improve your use of parallel form is to check sentences that list things. If you’ve written:
Our plans are to consolidate routes, reduce the number of drivers, and we’re also planning on upgrading the computer dispatch system.
Change it to:
We plan to consolidate routes, reduce the number of drivers, and upgrade the computer dispatch system.
Parallel form is not only easier to read, it reduces ambiguity. Consider the following sentence, which contains three non-parallel phrases:
Villagers can improve community health by learning how to purify water reservoirs, keeping garbage confined to one area, and by cooking all meats thoroughly.
After you’ve read the sentence, you’re left wondering whether the writer really meant to list three separate items, or whether the activity of “keeping garbage confined to one area” is the way “to purify water reservoirs.”
Assume that we’re talking about three separate activities here, and reconstruct the sentence to show parallel form. Some possible answers:
- Villagers can improve community health by learning how to purify water reservoirs, how to keep garbage confined to one area, and how to cook all meats thoroughly.
- Villagers can improve community health by purifying water reservoirs, by keeping garbage confined to one area, and by cooking all meats thoroughly.
- Villagers can improve community health if they will purify water reservoirs, confine garbage to one area, and cook all meats thoroughly.
Parallel form should exist not only between coordinate items or phrases within a sentence, but also between clauses and independent sentences where that form will focus meaning and enhance readability.
Parallelism in Balanced Sentences
Perhaps the easiest place to see this application of parallel form at work is in an “isocolonic” sentence, a sentence with two parallel ideas, holding equal weight, and capable of being neatly split into two separate, parallel sentences. Remember, the parallel nature of the ideas can reinforce or build on each other, as in the examples above, or they can oppose each other:
“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.”
That famous sentence of Dickens’s is written in “antithetical” form–just another way of saying parallel but opposing. It could have been written as two distinct sentences, but Dickens wanted the reader to grasp that balanced contradiction as essentially “one thought,” so he chose to write that one antithetical sentence. This same technique can be used in professional writing:
Sometimes the data seemed to confirm our hypothesis; sometimes the data seemed to contradict our hypothesis.
Of course, once you get a feel for “balanced thought,” you see lots of options with a sentence like this:
- Sometimes the data seemed to confirm our hypothesis, sometimes to contradict our hypothesis.
- The data seemed sometimes to confirm our hypothesis, sometimes to contradict it.
- The data seemed sometimes to confirm, sometimes to contradict our hypothesis.
And so on. Which version is “best”? Sorry. Can’t answer that. Depends on what came before, what’s coming after, and what you’re up to. By the way, notice the parallel form in that list of “depends on” items? Sure you did. Or if you didn’t, that’s because parallel form, rightly used, takes the reader’s mind down a smooth path to understanding; what you’d have noticed is a bumpy departure from parallel form.
Further Applications of Parallel Form
The technique of balancing two thoughts within a sentence is a fairly simple one. Once you master parallel form, you are free to vary elements of the pattern. How much of the pattern may you vary and still call it “parallel”? That I can’t tell you in formulaic terms. But rest assured: as you become more mature in this technique, you’ll see ever more clearly how far you can bend a pattern until it snaps and becomes useless.
Good professional writers, like good philosophers, are good at seeing categories of things and how they relate to one another. Remember to use parallel form when dealing with coordinate elements on any level (words, phrases, sentences, headings). Variation within parallel patterns can add stylistic zip to your writing, but beware of embracing too many variations before you’ve mastered the parallel patterns themselves. This kind of advice applies to all kinds of things, doesn’t it?
A final note about parallel form: you’ve probably already reflected on the idea that visual patterns can be parallel, too. Bingo! What does that suggest to you about good page design for professional documents? Something very similar to what I’ve just been saying, I hope: visual parallel form can help users see categories of things and how they relate to one another. This goes not only for the visual elements of your pages, but for the typefaces and typestyles you use in headings and in all the text. Type is visual too, of course. But I’m going to have to leave off discussing this very important topic with you since, for the moment, my goal is to instruct you in professional writing style.
Practice, Lesson 6: Use Parallel Form
Enter your revision in the box below each exercise. Click the “>” below each box to see Dr. Hirst’s revision.
Exercise 1: Parallel Form in Headings
Try your hand at creating parallel form in the following heading scheme. Come up with at least three different ways to make these subheads parallel:
[Main Heading]
Impact of Contaminants on Clinch River Fauna[Subheads]
- Sensitivity of Beavers to Contaminant Exposure
- Green Heron Population
- Turtles Affected by Pollutants
- Fish Contamination
> Open to see Dr. Hirst’s sample responses.
Possible Answer 1:
Beaver Population Damaged by Contaminants
Green Heron Population Damaged by Contaminants
Turtle Population Damaged by Contaminants
Fish Population Damaged by Contaminants
Possible Answer 2:
Impact of Contaminants on Beavers
Impact of Contaminants on Green Heron
Impact of Contaminants on Turtles
Impact of Contaminants on Fish
Possible Answer 3:
Contaminated Beavers
Contaminated Green Heron
Contaminated Turtles
Contaminated Fish
Exercise 2: Parallel Form in Sentences
Create parallel form in the following sentences:
1. To become a scout leader, a parent attends a training weekend to learn scouting fundamentals, or simply by paying dues and attending meetings.
> Open to see Dr. Hirst’s sample response.
To become a scout leader, a parent attends a training weekend to learn scouting fundamentals or simply pays dues and attends meetings.
2. The report considers factors important in choosing an investment, the ratings of companies, and reasons why stocks are better investments than futures.
> Open to see Dr. Hirst’s sample response.
The report considers factors important in choosing a stock, rates the companies that offer stocks, and gives reasons why stocks are better investments than futures.
3. The Muscle Club offers a variety of services: health checks, spotting your weightlifting, large personal locker, providing towels, machine for spin-drying bathing suits, massages by expert masseuses, and trainers to advise your entire workout.
> Open to see Dr. Hirst’s sample response.
The Muscle Club offers a variety of services: health checks, weightroom spots, large lockers, towels, swimsuit dryers, expert massages, and workout advice.
Note on this last revision: my answer is an improvement over the original, but maybe you have a problem with that revision because various items listed are not so much services as just available equipment. Excellent! Your eye for parallel categories is going to get more and more demanding as you focus on the issue of parallel form in style. How about this for a revision, then?
The Muscle Club offers a variety of services: health checks, weight room spots, expert massages, and workout advice. It also offers the convenience of large lockers, complimentary towels, and quick-dry swimsuit spinners.
You’ll notice that I elaborated a bit on the descriptions of the equipment, making the “pitch” for the club even more attractive. That became easier when I broke the list of Muscle Club features into two consistent categories, each structured by parallel form. This last revision takes us to the “next level” in terms of parallel form.
Let’s focus now on the more complex technique of achieving parallel form between sentences in a paragraph in Exercise 3.
Exercise 3: Final Challenge
Try your hand at improving parallel form between these sentences:
Big convention centers often host several conventions at the same time. You can go in one door and hear a presentation that is really giving Darwin the thumbs down and arguing for an entirely different theory of organic evolution. Another lecture will be going on in another room, this one all about how to invest your money in futures, which will build you a much quicker fortune. Then in a third conference room, an explanation of the very best grooming and handling techniques for poodles that compete in dog shows is being listened to!
>Open to see Dr. Hirst’s sample response.
Possible revision: Big convention centers often host several conventions at the same time. Enter one door and you’ll learn why Darwin’s theory of organic evolution must give way to a newer, entirely different theory. Enter another door and you’ll learn how to make a quick fortune by investing your money in futures. Enter another door and you’ll learn the very best grooming and handling techniques for your poodle showdog!
What’s that you say? Now that you see a good parallel pattern, you’d like to vary it a bit, just for kicks? Sure. Let’s vary the opening phrase of each sentence in the pattern, so we get “Open one door . . . Walk in one door . . . Pass through another door . . . .” Now we’ve put a little more life into those controlling verbs that introduce the parallel constructions. Want more life yet? How about “Fling open one door . . . Whisk through another door . . . Stride through another door . . . .” Want to shift your tone in the other direction, so the reader sees the conferenceer’s energy and interest waning with door after endless door? How about “Mosey through . . . Slump through . . . Stagger through”? Want to make those last changes and also tinker with the repeated “you’ll learn” part of the repeated pattern? Go ahead! How about “Mosey through one door and they’ll lecture you on. . . Slump through another door and they’ll steep you in the mysteries of. . . Stagger through another door and they’ll convert you to . . .”?
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